Eventhrop blew the dust off the mildewed old book. “Advanced Excel Course by Pitman Training,” he read aloud.
“But it’s so basic, it’s almost Neanderthal.”
“Yes,” said Erinson, the venerated computer archivist. “I found that book myself when we were excavating in Nothill. Although of course in those days they used to call it Notting Hill Gate.”
“And although it seems strange to us, in those days, many people were advanced Excel users, having studied what they believed were advanced Excel courses, a sort of educational experience.”
“It seems so strange that they had to use computers to do such simple calculations,” continued Eventhrop, “and crazy that they would have to take an advanced Excel course to do so.”
Erinson waved a translucent hand at his young sidekick and said: “Well, you’ve got to look at it in context, as a step on the route to enlightenment.”
“You see, back then, they didn’t have the nutritional input and selective training programmes we enjoy today, so I prefer to think of these students as pioneers. Let me fill you in.”
“Way, way back, these people lived in what we now call the Microsoft age and the strongest of them were educated by this Pitman Training that you found on the cover of the book.”
"Books were an important part of Excel courses in those days as electronic readers hadn’t yet caught on and they were nowhere near developing the three dimensional ocular projection systems we use for reading today.”
“With their relatively under-developed brains, back then, humans found it very difficult to perform calculations in their heads to the standards we expect today, so a great man who we believe was called Bill Gates started a laboratory where this Excel programme was created.”
“Excel allowed people to carry out what to them were complex calculations and if you look at the book in detail, you’ll discern that Gates developed a whole lexicon related to such calculations.”
“They coined the term ‘spreadsheets’ for their work although no-one knows why. And Gates and his team created Excel formulas and Excel macros to help people perform calculations quickly and easily with little risk of statistical error.”
“People would be required to take ‘Excel courses,’ which is what we would now call educational experiensosity. While they seem rudimentary to us, at the time, these Excel courses enabled people to work at the cutting edge of numeracy and also database work.”
“The book you are holding is by Pitman Training who we believe was one of the leading educational providers at the time. When I was excavating in Nothill, I found mentions of a larger institution called Pitman Training High Holborn although we have been unable to find any firm evidence that such a place existed. None the less, the data we have suggests it may have been an important place in one of the major settlements in the London area.”
“In many ways, I would love to go back to that era to see how it all worked,” finished Erinson, leaning back, misty-eyed.
“I think you’re crazy, old man, said Eventhrop. It all sounds like too much hard work for me,” tossing the Advanced Excel Course book at his mentor.
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